What Is or What is Not?

I am currently taking part in an online course for Christian creative people at Epiphany Art Studio.

The classes only began this week so you would not be too far behind if you joined us now.

I'll share a piece of art work I did in response to the first class later but for today I wanted to share my thoughts in response to a passage of scripture we were asked to consider.

A New Heaven and a New Earth?
No more sickness
No more sorrow
No more death
No more grieving

But this is not enough.  This alone can never adequately describe the new heaven and new earth.  How can you accurately describe something only by explaining what it is not, the things it has not and the things it will never be.

A football for instance, (in this case soccer, because I am a Brit after all) is not square, is not flat, is not hairy or tasty or best after midnight.  It doesn't have legs, or a nervous system and it will never be the best method of powering a spacecraft.

If you had never seen or heard of a football before (and possibly never seen any other ball for playing with) you would be very little wiser as to what a football actually was.

If I said this, however, you would understand much more.  A football is an inflated spherical object, made commonly of plastic, although in the past of leather.  It is used in a sport played by 2 teams who use their feet and occasionally their heads to propel the ball to the opposite end of the field of play and between two posts into an area known as the goal.

So, back to this new heaven and new earth.  What of it?  We have to use our imaginations a little and think on what else we know of God.

In the absence of sickness, there will be fullness, there will be well being, there will be health like we have never known.
In the absence of sorrow there will be joy that goes on and on forever but never gets boring or old, or normal.
In the absence of death there will be life to be lived, abundantly, enthusiastically, without question or hesitation.

We will be the bride adorned.  We will know what it means to be loved.  We will live in and be a beautiful city, a place of light and of Glory.


We, the bride?  The beautiful city?
How many of us when asked to describe ourselves, to talk about who we are and what we do will tend, at some point, to think of the things we are not, the things we don't have and the things we "could do better"?

I'm not saying give up trying.  I'm not saying settle for less than all you could be and just go with what you think you are now.  I'm not saying accept sin like a cloak that cannot be removed.

I'm suggesting, however, that we switch our focus for a while, from what we are not to what we are, from what we have not, to what we have and from what we cannot do to what we can.

Think on that for a while and I will return to it in the next few days.



You can check out the sites I link up to over in my sidebar. Before you go, why not check out my recipes index page, or my craft projects index page, I am sure you will find something there to interest you.

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Enjoy Life - There's Always an Adventure

At the beginning of this year I posted about my theme for the year, being 2012, the Year to ENJOY.
later I posted about how I was getting on with it having morphed into Enjoy the Adventure.  I figured it was time for a recap.

Well, the Leadership Course is still an adventure.  I am actually ENJOYING it, something I didn't think possible at the beginning of the year.  There was some good teaching at the last session, from both the people with that role and I got to share for "Focus on the heavenlies" which is where you get to choose a nation as a focus for prayer, tell people a bit about that nation and then organise people to pray.  I chose Haiti and shared about a friend of a friend who works there.

Art wise I am way behind on the Life Book Course but really enjoying it when I get the chance.  In fact, this last page that I did, there were moments when I was so enjoying the process I was literally bouncing in my chair and giggling to myself.

I am also considering another art type course that begins at the end of this month.  It is much less about learning art skills and more about co-operating with the holy Spirit in art.  Which is what is missing for me in Life Book.



My only concern is keeping up with both courses since I am already behind on life book.  Hmmmmmm.

We've had a couple of enjoyable fun weekends, including a day out in Kingston Upon Thames where we got to watch the boat races that we had no idea were going to be on that day.

I got to use our car for 3 weeks, while hubby was using a company car for work because of needing to be on different sites.  I really enjoyed having the car and will now have to get used to being back on the buses again, :-(

I've been having lots of fun enjoying baking and blogging about those adventures.  However that adventure led to the inevitable consequence of now needing to go back on the diet and exercise adventure.  Oh well.

I still don't know what will be happening with the MAYBE adventure, and am still hoping for it to come off.  I can't talk about it until I know and even then won't be able to share any more than "it is happening".

And so, here we are, at Easter and I need to make a concious effort to Enjoy it in ways I haven't before.  hmmmmm, any thoughts?

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Made for Relationship

This article was written in April 2009 in response to something written by my friend Dana.  In that post she talked about the fact that we as Christians are all called to live in community, not just so we can impact the world, but for own betterment. Things have changed for me since this post was written and not only are my husband and I now in a small group again but we are leading it, and other situations mentioned have also changed, relationships are stronger in some ways. However I think the main point of this article still stands, We are a People Made For Relationship: 


 I quote: " As much as God works in us to transform us from the inside out, He gave us something more to refine us. He gave us each other. The community of Christ is meant to be a tool not only as the hands and feet of Christ to the world, but for the betterment of each other through shared lives, shared work, shared struggles and shared encouragement." 


She obviously had no idea how timely this post would be for me. 
I have really been struggling with the whole relationships issue over recent months. 
Because of various things that happened, hubby and I found ourselves still in the same church but not in a small group. We do go to a soaking group most weeks, but lets be honest, that involves maybe 15 - 20 minutes of relationship building and then the rest of the night is spent sleeping, (well not necessarily sleeping, but it's interaction direct with Father rather than with each other). I LOVE soaking, I adore it, but I need something more. I need relationship. 
I am not blaming anyone at our church for the situation in which we find ourselves, it is not down to people, it is down to circumstances that have arisen. 


Over the last couple of months I have begun to understand and to formulate in my head why this is so important to me, and why I am feeling so lost without it. I had already come to the realisation that a big part of it was about encouragement. I know one of the things I am called to do is to encourage people, I LOVE doing it, but unless you know people, unless you're aware of what's going on in their lives, that becomes a difficult thing to do well. I also was aware that I NEED encouragement. When I am facing struggles, when I am facing challenges, doubts, issues of sin even, I need encouragement, I need someone who sees what is happening in my life and says "Come on, you CAN DO IT!" 


Then, on Sunday morning, before I read Dana's post, I came to a further realisation about my need for relationship. 
On Sunday, we had baptisms. 5 people making that public declaration of their relationship with Jesus! AWESOME morning, absolutely amazing, and it made me cry! One of the things that happens at our church when a person gets baptised is that after they have been dunked in the water people pray for them publicly, or bring bible verses they believe god wants to speak to that person through, or pictures, visions, or other "words" from Father God. It's an incredible time as you listen to what God has in store for these people. 
I sat there and I cried, because I realised that another big thing about small groups, whether that be an organised group within your church, or whether it be just a group of people that you gather together yourself, is that you are able to speak into each others lives. 


 Before we left the group we were in before, the group that we were leading and needed to take a break from, that was one of the things we used to do a lot of, praying for each other and speaking into each others lives, what we believed Father God was saying and showing to us. 


 Dana explains it this way:" This does not mean that need to let all 1,600 members of my home church in on all my business all the time. It does mean that I have gathered around myself a few groups of people who know me and in spite of that, love me; whose counsel and advice I trust and cherish and most importantly; who love the Lord and want for all of us to be more like Him. It is these people that I can trust to honestly evaluate my words and my behaviours as Christ's ambassador. It is these people that I can trust to hold me up with Truth and not stroke my ears with pretty words. It is these people who sharpen me as I strive to live in community with people who are sometimes very unlike me." 


 So yes, those aren't just nice, sweet, "God wants to bless you with THIS . . . " type words. It was also a time where we were able to be honest with each other, where we were able to get a spiritual kick in the pants from people we trusted as we were honest with them and they were honest with us. 


 BUT that was the realisation of Sunday morning, that I am also missing out on the opportunity to have others whom I know and trust spiritually, speak into my life, and to do the same in return. 


 And all along I have known that WE ARE A PEOPLE WHO ARE MADE FOR RELATIONSHIPS, and women, even more so than men, we are made with this capacity to love and to share, and when that is not used, is not filled, we have a hole, something is missing. 


Yes, I DO have relationships online, that other people in the church might not have, but over the last few months, those have changed, those have drifted, and are not the same as they once were. So here I am. Totally acknowledging and agreeing with what Dana wrote. STILL desperate to be in close relationship with a small group of people. Willing to work on creating that for ourselves, (I have worked on getting the "visitor" areas of our home suitable for visitors over the past few weeks and discussed with hubby last night who we might invite for dinner over the coming weeks), but not really knowing where to start. 


I'll finish with a final quote from Dana's post: "We spend a great deal of time focusing on the fluffy, friendly part of our Christian relationships and while we do so, we rob ourselves of one of our most valuable earthly assets. Accountability among believers is not always comfortable, easy or fun, but it is certainly one of the most loving things we can do for each other. Building a person up doesn't merely consist of words that puff up and make us feel good. It includes cutting out the weaker parts so that the entire structure is more sound. It is sometimes painful, heartbreaking, backbreaking work. Who better to entrust it to than those whose hearts are grafted with our own into the heart of the Giver of Life?"

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Dream Board

Hello to any other Life bookers out there in blog land.  Yes, I know, I am behind on doing my dream board, but I think it was worth waiting for because of how I ended up doing it.

What is a Dream Board?

Generally a dream board is a piece of collage art work that represents your dreams in a particular situation.  For me this is my dream board for the next 12 months.  

Normally you start by just scribbling down on your page some of the words that represent those dreams.  

In this case I skipped that part, but here's why, and also the reason I'm glad I didn't do my dream board back in the 2nd week of January.  

It was my birthday last week, and one of the things a friend gave me was a blank Christmas card which had Christmas Wishes on the front.  She said it was because she thought I needed to write my wishes, dreams, hopes for the coming year down for myself.  

Ta-Da the perfect push to complete my dream board and the perfect thing to centre my board around.  

So, in this case I wrote all my dreams on the inside of the card and made it a part of the page.  You could choose to do either way, or find some other way of incorporating the words or not include words at all, it's all up to you.

The next thing you need to do is find some pictures to go with your dreams.  You can cut them out of magazines or find them on the internet and print them out.  I did the latter but used proper photo paper to get good quality images.

Play around with a layout of the pictures on the page until you find one you like.

I think that allows me to see everything I need to see and still be able to open the card.

I carefully removed the card so as to leave the layout undisturbed, because I didn't want to attach the card until the adding the colour was complete.

Carefully glue the pictures down using whatever method suits you best.  Most of the time I don't use glue sticks when doing art journaling projects but this time I have to admit to doing so.  It was to hand and easy to use.

Next you want to start adding some colour.  First of all I used some spray inks through stencils, but I didn't get  photo of that stage, I was so into the process, I forgot.  After the stencil work, I added some acrylic paints.  I chose the colours based on the mug of hot chocolate in the top right, purple!  I chose two shades of purple and used the same brush, mixing them together on the page as seemed to go well at the time.

Next you want to make it YOU in some way.  If you are into fancy lettering, add some of that.  If you are into scrapbook embellishments, use those, if you like glitter, grab some of that.  I chose to use just a little gold paint.  Some onto the page, and then some dry brushed around the very edges of the page.

Finally I added the card back into the middle of the page.  This time I did use gel medium as a glue rather than the glue stick,. because I want to be sure it won't come up at a later date.

And there you have it, my dream board for the next 12 months, including the card, which does still open so that I can read what is inside if I choose to.

You can find the sites that i link up to over in the side bar.  Come back soon to see more of the work I produce in Life book or my other crafty adventures.

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Enjoy the Adventure

That's my theme for 2012, Enjoy the Adventure.  There are lots of things coming up that I already know will be  classified as Adventure.

Leadership Course - Seriously, why would someone who struggles with criticism as much as I do take part in a course where basically no one teaches you anything, you just all take turns in doing the stuff and being critiqued by the rest of the people on the course.  Seriously why?  Because God said 2012 was the year to Enjoy the Adventure, and what is adventure if not a little scary, right?

Then there's another opportunity that is only a possible at this stage and I can't really share here.  A team I am involved in, was asked to consider this IF it does come up, and after talking it through with the team, I put myself forward.  I won't know until March now if I will go forward to do that, so I have to wait.  But if I do, it is going to mean a lot of work and a lot of responsibility.  Again scary and out of comfort zone.

Last week the church I am part of had a week of prayer.  Meetings every evening.   I had been to all so far, when on Thursday I was asked if I was going to be around on Friday.  When I said yes I was asked to lead the Friday evening.  Scary?  Oh yes!  But actually I wasn't as wound up as I had expected to be.  A little, yes, but not as much.  There was a time when even something like leading a small prayer meeting would have had me in the bathroom throwing up!  It's still scary, it's still stretching, it's not something I would want to tackle without God, BUT I did it and it went OK, and I came out the other side stronger.

Are you beginning to see a theme here?  Adventure, scary, stretching, hard, difficult, etc.  What happened to the Enjoy?  I actually asked God that last week in my Journal.  Yes, I know, OUCH!  But I was being real.

I know that there will be times in both those things coming up that will be enjoyable.  There are things, already happening that will continue through the year that are both stretching, scary AND enjoyable.  I am taking part in a year long online art class that has already had me doing my first 3/4 portrait, my first colour portrait, and my first profile portrait since discovering art as an adult.  They're not perfect, but I am having a blast while being stretched at the same time.  I also know that there is an element to this theme of finding the enjoyable within things that would normally seem hard to me.

However, God did not disappoint!  You see, when I first got my theme, and you can read about it here, the word Enjoy came first, on its own, and God had intended all along for that sometimes to be the case.  Monday was my birthday and in amongst the wonderful birthday greetings on facebook there were two that were so personal and so blessing that they brought me to tears.   One of them spoke of being thankful my mother gave birth to me, being sad for me that she is no longer around and knowing that she would be proud of me if she were.  Oh that made me cry, good tears.  I sat and thought of all I have been doing in my craft room lately, thought of the creative woman my mother was and KNEW, probably for the first time in a long time, that my friend was right.  My mom would be proud of me.

Then my dad phoned to sing happy birthday.  He said he'd been looking at some of the pictures I'd shared on facebook of my recent art work and asked me "Where did you learn to draw like that?" and was asking all about it.  That's a big deal to me, a seriously big deal and I am in awe that God would choose to bless me with that from both my mom who is no longer with us and my dad who is in less than 2 days!  Enjoy?  Oh YES!

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Life Book 2012

Hellooooo to any other Life Bookers out there, reading this.  


For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, let me explain.  Life Book is a 12 month, online art class put together by the awesome Tamara Laporte.  

12 months, with 2 full video lessons each month, plus extra activities on the in between weeks.  I treated myself to this by paying for it with what I earn from the sponsored blog posts that I make.  Then I made a Christmas list with some of the supplies I would need, and was blessed to receive a lot of them.


Class opened as the year turned into 2012, and over 600 people are now arting away!


As a Christian some of the "healing exercises" that come along with the lessons, do not sit right with what I believe and the way I think.  BUT that's Ok, truly it is.  If you've been thinking about lifebook but concerned about that part of it, don't be.  Take a risk and give it a go, I am sure you will find it's OK.


For instance, this very first lesson is all about identifying and celebrating our positive qualities.  In the lesson they are described as "goddess superpowers" but that doesn't mean you have to consider them so and I would say that only about half of the completed pages I have seen so far have described them as such.  


So, if the spiritual aspect of any of the lessons concerns you, you can do what I and others have done and put that little change to it, or you could just skip that part altogether and focus only on the art aspect of them, it would still be well worth the money in my opinion (and this is NOT a sponsored post BTW).


I didn't quite have the right supplies for the first lesson, not having the colours of watercolour crayons that Tam suggests, and not being able to find my brayer for the background.  I know I have one, I have looked all over the craft room but I cannot find it.  I wonder if I took it down to church for a craft project with the children, hmmmmmm.


So I improvised, I used the colours that I did have and I did some stencilled ink for the background instead.  

Making the list of positive qualities is not necessarily easy, most of us are more used to thinking on the things we need to change, the things we need to do better at and so on, particularly at this time of year. Even if you don't do art or are not part of Life Book, why don't you sit down with a notepad and pen and make that list of positive qualities that you have and make celebrating them in some little way a part of your new year. 
I started with a list of whole phrases, but was able to narrow each of those phrases down into just one or two words.




If you have been following my art journal adventures on my blog you will know that I have been learning to draw faces, something I could NEVER do when I was at school, and until less than a year ago still believed I could not do.  This page is both the first face I have done in 3/4 profile since starting to learn properly AND the first colour face I have done in that time.  I am over the moon with how it turned out.




You can check out the linky parties I link up to in the side bar and please come back soon to see more of what Life Book brings.

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2012 - The Year to ENJOY

I really was NOT going to go seeking a theme for 2012, honestly, truly, I wasn't going to stress about it and make a big deal of it.  It wasn't so much that I was determined not to have one, just that I wasn't going to actively seek one out.


It seems God had other plans. One day at the end of November I thought I got an inkling of something, just one word but it seemed ridiculous, so I pushed it out of my head. 


The following morning that one word got more flesh on it and made more sense. Then that afternoon I was at a lunch with the team of a local anti trafficking group, where we met with the young ladies who put on the play about trafficking at the big fund raiser/awareness event we attended last year. We're going to put on a big event which all the other agencies working on trafficking will be invited to, at which the ladies will perform their updated version of the play, which we will then invite school staff, youth workers, local politicians, etc to, in order to build awareness but also build credibility for he organisation by hosting an event which all the other established agencies come to. Oh and we're also going to be planning a masked ball for October next year as well. Well after that I kind of knew I was right. 


The word was ENJOY. I mean, seriously, like God is going to tell someone to take a whole year to just ENJOY? D'you know what that's not actually an accurate representation of what went through my head. If I'm being more honest it was "Sure, God might tell someone else to do that, (I have a close friend who had a year of Delight) but he'd never say that to me". There, I've said it!  I figured it was something God could quite possibly say to others but never to me.  


I did say that that one word got more flesh on it the morning before the meeting mentioned above.  It did indeed, it became ENJOY THE ADVENTURE So there you have it. 2012, the year to enjoy the adventure.


 . . .


What will that mean? What will it bring?  I certainly don't think it's going to be a year of sitting back and doing nothing and just enjoying life like that, at all.  I have an inkling of a slight possibility of something that MIGHT be coming up, that would certainly fulfil the adventure part for me.  But it isn't even a definite possibility yet, so news of that will have to wait.


One thing I know I am going to be enjoying is the year long online art class I have signed up for over at Willowing.ning, which you can find a link to in my sidebar.  In fact, as I write it is 5 minutes to midnight on New Years Eve and I am waiting for the stroke of midnight when I think the first class (or at least something) will go live.

 . . . 


Do you have a theme for 2012?  If not, maybe it's something you could think about.

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2011 - The Year of NEW

If you want to know more about yearly themes, or about my recent yearly themes and how 2011 came to be the year of NEW, check out my recent post about my yearly themes and the links I shared at the end of that post.

Specifically, you might want to check out the post from the beginning of 2011 about my theme for 2011, NEW, how I came to that realisation and the bible verses I was standing on.    If you read that you will see there were certain things I was pretty sure were going to be part of my year but I wasn't yet ready to discuss.  One of those was "teaching".  I had NO IDEA how or why or when, but I knew in my gut it would be part of my year.

If you have followed my blog during this year you will know that I did indeed get to do that.  I travelled to Romania at the very end of the summer to teach craft projects to a group of poor Roma Gypsy women and teens at a project our church has connections with.  These were projects that hopefully will continue and be grown through the people that are still there, and eventually lead to these women having things they can make to sell. It was a hard trip in many ways, but we also had fun.

Other New things,

I have an eldest son at university and a younger son at sixth form college.  That means I no longer have a son at school.

I picked up a new school in my work doing talks in school assemblies.  I also lost one because their schedule can't fit around the other new thing.  I now lead a team of 4 of us women from church plus the head teacher of the school, doing weekly bible story assemblies in our closest school.  It has been a really exciting first term doing that and we have had lots of positive responses.

Do the New things end as 2011 ends?

As in previous years, there is certainly going to be an overflow of the previous year's theme into the new year.

On 1st January, Life Book Starts and I am really excited for a year of online art classes.

And as last year there is another possibility in the wings, waiting to be fleshed out and opened up.  It fits with both the theme for 2011 and the theme for 2012, but at this stage is still only a POSSIBILITY, so I won't be talking about it until I know more.

Later today I will get around to writing a post about my theme for 2012, so check back tomorrow if it's not up there yet!

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What is a Yearly Theme all about

Reposting from December 2010, which is, in itself a repost from December 2009, which was an edited version of what I posted in 2008.  Anyway, here it is:

1. I first came across the idea of themes for the year a few years ago through reading the blogs of friends. Basically the idea is to seek God for an underlying theme for the coming year and then watch how He works that out in your life. Also considering your actions and lifestyle in light of that theme.
   
   
2. I started doing this myself a few years ago and have noticed more and more people commenting on their themes for the year.
   
   
3. Some years this has been a process of taking time out, sitting with God, looking at the previous years theme, how that went, praying, reading, listening, and other times it has just been one word or phrase that dropped into my spirit and I KNEW that that was the theme for that year.
   
   
4. Some years the theme seems like a really nice one and you approach the year thinking "Yeah, I can DO this, this will be fun." and other years you approach your theme with a little trepidation.
   
   
5. For instance, I have friends whose recent themes include Patience, and everyone knows if God wants to grow patience in you, He's going to put you in some situations that will require you to grow patience and those might not be fun. I have another friend whose theme for the coming year is Enjoy and I'm really excited to watch and see what God does with her this year.
   
   
6. Other years you look at your theme and you think it's going to be one thing and looking back on the year at the end you see it totally fitted with your theme BUT absolutely NOT in the way you had expected that to work out.
   
   
7. As an example a few years ago my theme for the year was "Seeking God for myself, not relying on others to speak into me." I thought "yeah, I can do this, lots of time praying, reading my bible, listening for god to speak, yeah, I can do this." What I did not expect was for it to be the most isolating year of my life socially, where a lot of relationships were stretched, broken, and there were fewer and fewer people close enough to be able to speak into my life. I had no choice but to seek out God for myself.
   
   
8. Then there was 2008. REST! Great, fantastic, slow down, take it easier, REST. HA! God really has a sense of humour.
   
   
9. I started 2008 knowing that I was having some medical symptoms that I suspected were sleep apnoea related. I had tried to seek medical advice previously but had been rebuffed by our family doctor who would not refer me to a specialist. As my symptoms began to worsen, and I realised I had less and less energy, needing frequent 3 or 4 hour daytime naps just to get through the day, falling asleep sat up at the computer desk, and even, at times mid conversation with my family, I knew I would have to face the doctor again. And I was prepared for it to be a battle, I was prepared that I would need to FIGHT to be heard.
   Alongside that, hubby and I had been struggling in our role as small group leaders at church. We had taken on what turned out to be an incredibly difficult group, for various reasons. We HAD previously tried to get help in our role, but had not been heard, we had even tried to quit before, but had been persuaded to stay. I was prepared for this, too to be a battle, I was prepared to have to FIGHT for what I knew God was doing in me!
   
   So, here were two situations in which I was totally expecting a battle.
   When I finally got up the courage to approach the doctors again, in the end I got my referral to the sleep clinic! PRAISE GOD. I went to my first appointment and for the first time in relation to these symptoms I felt like I was really HEARD. It truly felt like God had gone before me and prepared the way.
   
   Small group leading? It was awesome. We hold no blame over the couple who led the ministry at that time at all, and they were absolutely fantastic, totally coming to terms with where we were at, apologising for not having realised before and giving us the space to step back with no repercussions.
   
   So, two situations in which I expected battle and found nothing but the way already prepared before me.
   A year in which physically I was forced to take more and more rest as my symptoms grew.
   A year in which I tried to make much more of a focus on getting to "soaking" meetings, where we just sit on a comfy sofa, or lie on the floor and rest while appropriate worship music is played over us. Sometimes someone prays and sometimes they don't, but we just SOAK in God's presence.
   Then, at church family camp 2008 I had the most amazing experience.
   I wasn't sure about how attending camp would affect my sleep, and not being able to nap during the day, etc, but I went anyway, figuring if had to hide out in our unit I would. There was this one meeting, and worship was awesome, and I was singing and dancing, and then the tiredness, slowly began to come over me. And I got to a point, where I could not dance any more, but I still stood and sang, and raised my hands. And as the tiredness grew, my hands came down to hold on to the seat in front, and then I had to sit down and eventually even stop singing. I could not even muster to the energy to do that. I COULD NOT fight the sleep, I could not DO anything for God in that moment, I did not even have the energy to think through the words of the song in my head, it was all I could do to just BE. And in that moment I felt the nearness of God like I have NEVER felt it before, I felt His love and His closeness, and His passion, and it overwhelmed me. I mean, seriously overwhelmed me. I could DO NOTHING, and in that moment He came to me. I could DO NOTHING and in that moment He poured out His love on me. I could DO NOTHING and in that moment he came to dwell with me. I could do NOT ONE THING to make myself acceptable to God, I could not earn it in any way shape or form, I could not even keep my eyes open in the worship service, and in that place, He expressed His passionate love and care for me.
   
   
10. 2009 began with a theme of Breakthrough but in fact, at first glance, it started with some situations that did not look like breakthrough at all.
    I would not be allowed to drive my car for a few months at least. Due to my diagnosis of Sleep Apnoea, my driving licence had been medically revoked. My precious little gift of a car was put off road for a while!
    I was to receive a local bus pass because of that but that would take 5 or 6 weeks to come through, so in the meantime, and for any journeys after it came through that were not possible by bus, I was reliant on others!
    
    So, NO, this didn't look like breakthrough, and it didn't feel like breakthrough, but I KNEW that I knew that I knew, that God, the Father had His hands completely on this whole process and that He would use this, even this to bring about the breakthrough He intended!
    
    And at the same time, I was heading towards some fantastic moments of breakthrough that I already knew about!
    Hubby and I celebrated 15 years of marriage in February. Something a lot of people never thought we'd do!
    I got my CPAP machine (Sleep apnoea treatment) at the end of January 2009 and despite an early struggle to get used to it and moments of absolute despair at the possibility of things never improving I am now able to go about my day without falling asleep and without needing daytime naps and live life more or less normally. Of course there are still bad days, bad nights, and I still don't have the energy to do EVERYTHING, but this is SO much better than things were before I got treated.
    The restoration of day time energy levels meant I could focus once again on losing some weight and increasing my heart health through exercise! And that year I lost almost 30 pounds.
    I have also seen breakthrough in other areas of my life, I got my driving licence back at the end of the summer 2009, and God met me particularly in the struggle and desire for deeper female friendship, with that being met in more than 1 way. God had also spoken to my local church about breakthrough, that October, using the very verses from Joshua that I had used to back up my theme for that year.
    
    2009 was NOT over yet when I wrote this list of points. I did not Believe the year of Breakthrough was over yet! I believed there was much to come, both in the remaining 5 weeks of the actual year, and truly, I believed beyond that! When I sought God for a theme for 2010 it was not denying the breakthrough that would continue, it was merely adding to it!
    
    
11. So, 2010? This list was originally written in November 2009 and friends had been speaking of their themes for this coming year already, and I was refusing to even acknowledge it, refusing to accept that this was possible. I was still in the middle of my busiest 2 months of the year and quite simply, it was not even on my radar and I was fine with that.
    
    
12. THEN, one morning in November 2009, I was lying in bed and a thought dropped into my head, ONE WORD! And I thought after it, "Oh that might be my theme for the year" Then I reminded myself that I was refusing to think about that yet and that anyway was I really sure I wanted a theme like that? Remembering what I said up in points 6 and 7.
    I mentioned to some friends that I thought I MIGHT have my theme and was GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP in response to it.
    The truth is this theme fits in with other things that God has been speaking to me over recent weeks, and was confirmed by a blog post from someone whose writing I trust, the morning I wrote this list.
    
    
13. One word - or at least one word, that can be put in a number of different ways.
    SIMPLE
    simplify
    simplification
    SIMPLE!
    Not working harder and harder, but working smarter. Not doing things just because "well someone's got to do it" but focusing on those things that I believe God wants ME to do. Not doign things because "Doing A is the only way B is going to happen" but trusting God that what He has promised to do, He WILL do. Simplifying STUFF as well, de-cluttering, getting rid of junk, emotionally, spiritually and physically. NOPE, I don't think this is going to be an EASY theme to live through, but I think it's going to be an adventure, and I am up for that!

addition in December 2011:

Check out the following links to see other posts on my yearly themes

What I Thought Simplicity Would Mean in 2010

How the Theme for 2010 Actually Went

Finally, a theme for 2011  

An Art Journal Page to go With My Theme for 2011

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New Things Check in

It's been a while since I've done a Check in on my theme for 2011 of NEW things!

In my last post on the topic I hinted at a new shower cubicle!  Oh yes, hubby has finished that job.

There used to be a gaping hole there where we had had to punch through in a previous plumbing emergency.  Hubby pulled all the old tile and water softened (from the plumbing emergency) board out, put a new piece of aqua panel in and tiled over the top.  And now we are able to shower again!  Yay!

Another new thing is my sewing machine.  Hubby decided to buy me the machine that I had my heart set on, after we received a small sum of money in an inheritance.  I knew I wanted a Singer, but had my heart set on the heavy duty model.  The heavy duty models kind of fill the gap between their standard home use models and their industrial models.  For the way I sew, I knew this was ideal.  This machine will stand up to a lot of use.  I don't tend to sew that often but when I do sew I tend to do an awful lot over a few days, using the machine almost constantly during that time.  I knew this model would stand up to that kind of use.

Singer 4423 Heavy Duty.  I have no affiliation with Singer in any way I just love this machine.

Here's what happened when I got it out of the box.

I am still working on keeping up with my thankfulness journal. I might not write in it every day or even make a weekly thankfulness blog post but bit by bit I am working on that.

I am still moving forward with plans for a trip to Romania in the summer and may have some dates to share with you next week.

We have begun our garden for 2011 and I may post an update to my previous post tomorrow, showing you any growth in the various plants.

Finally I have a number of new books to read.  A couple of titles on prayer, a book called Chazown which is about finding your God given vision and defining it, a book about the Jewishness of Jesus and lastly the new Max Lucado book, watch out for a review on that next week.

Sooo, did you have a theme for this year?  How are you doing with that?  Is it going well?  Are you able to make sense of it or are you wondering what on earth is going on and how your current circumstances could possibly fit with that theme?

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Where should we begin?

Yesterday I sat down to do my bible reading.  I prayed before I started,

"Dear Lord, help me to see you today in what I read.  In a passage, or a verse, or a single word.  You are mighty God and nothing is impossible for You.  May Your words and Your truth seep into the plans I make and every thought I think today.  Amen."

So then I turned to my reading for the day.  I was supposed to read a number of chapters of the book of Ruth, but I only got 7 verses in and I had to stop because it was like God had thrown a huge billboard in front of my face, to get my attention!

Ruth 1:6 One day she got herself together, she and her two daughters-in-law, to leave the country of Moab and set out for home; she had heard that God had been pleased to visit his people and give them food.7 And so she started out from the place she had been living, she and her two daughters-in-law with her, on the road back to the land of Judah.

Do you see that in verse 7!
AND SO SHE STARTED OUT FROM THE PLACE SHE HAD BEEN LIVING!
She started out from WHERE she was, NOT from somewhere else!  It's the only place you CAN start.  You can't begin a journey and immediately expect to be in a different place or at a different level, it just won't happen.

How often do I do that?  Expect things to change immediately, or to somehow be different than they are, and when they prove not to be, get disappointed?  Particularly with myself.  I set intentions, but I have a false estimation of my current position.  It's not the measurable things I do it with.  I can jump on a set of scales, or use a tape measure.  I can tick off a To Do list that I have read my bible that day, I can log exercise, I can stay in touch with people and so on.  The problem comes with the things that are more difficult to measure.

So I deceive myself about the state of my relationship with God, or about the state of my relationships with others.  I make false estimations of my mood, of my heart, of how "together" I am.  I choose to believe less than the truth about my willingness to change.  I do all that, and in doing so I try to begin a journey from a place I am not.

Oh sure, I acknowledge that there are problems, I make plans to put them right, but until I can be honest with myself I cannot begin that journey in the right place.  Often the estimation I make is a more hopeful one, one that gives me less ground to cover to reach that goal, one that doesn't accept how bad things are.  However, not all my false estimates are a refusal to acknowledge how bad things are, a lot of them are a reluctance to admit how good things are.  A particular friend is often telling me how amazing I am, and I often fob her off or divert the conversation.  Why?  Does it boil down to this piece written by Marianne Williamson?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest dear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson

BUT, whichever side of the truth I begin from, or you begin from it's going to cause a problem.  The successful way to BEGIN is to do it from a true understanding of where we are now.  What if we don't know where we are now?  Well, sometimes we tell ourselves we don't know, when we really do, I know I do that, hiding from the truth we don't want to acknowledge.  So we need to be honest with ourselves, ask God to help us with that, to keep us safe as we open up things that maybe we have been afraid to open to open up.  Trusted Godly friends can help here too.

But if we still find ourselves not knowing where we are at with a particular situation, then we definitely need to go to God.  Come before the one who knows us better than we know ourselves and yet still loves us and ask Him to show us the truth about where we are and where or how we need to begin.

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New Things - update

How many of you have a theme for the year?  Either one that you feel is God given or one you have chosen yourself?

How's it going?  Have you thought about it recently?  Can you see where that theme is working in your life at the moment?

For me, the theme for 2011 is NEW THINGS.  Well, there are a few new things since my last update.

I mentioned in that last post that I needed to renew my passport, well, that is done and I now have a nice, shiny, new passport.  The planning for the trip to Romania is under way and it looks like it will possibly be the beginning of May, but that is yet to be confirmed.  I am really excited about the possibility of making this trip, and mulling some ideas for raising funds for the expenses.

Secondly we are proud owners of a NEW car.  We have a Kia Picanto (and the next person who calls it cute might get slapped), which should save us a huge amount on our fuel bill.  I'm not going to quote the number plate (registration, licence plate or whatever else you want to call it) so openly, but let me say it FITS perfectly with the theme for the year.  I haven't driven it yet, and have only been in it once, but hey, it's hubby's car.  It does mean I have the old car back as mine for a while at least.  It's making strange noises and hubby is going to take a look at it soon. I doubt it will make it through it's next MOT (Road worthiness test) in August, but let's wait and see.

Thirdly I am dealing with new health issues.  Frustrating and not pleasant but at least I am moving forward with tests and so on.

The final two are NOT QUITE YET, but very soon.
Firstly, the reason you haven't seen any crafty posts from me in a while: we have redecorated eldest's bedroom.  He has moved away, but still comes back for a while at holidays and so on.  The painting is all finished, and we are waiting for furniture to arrive this week.  When that is all put together it will be time to load all the craft materials onto the shelves etc because it will be my NEW craft room.  I have already moved some materials out from the old craft area, under the stairs, and hubby has swapped his desk area from eldest's room to down there, hence no new craft blogs in a while.  The furniture should be up and in place by the end of the weekend.  It might take me a few more days to get all the craft materials up into the shelves the way I want them.

Secondly we may have a new shower cubicle soon!  It had had to have a hole punched in it a while ago to reach a leaky pipe and hubby is finally getting around to fixing it.  The tiling is all done apart from one thin edging strip and one half tile.  Then he will have to do the grouting and finally but the cubicle back together and we will be done!

So yeah, NEW THINGS!  How is your theme going?

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Sometimes I need reminding

From a few years ago when hubby and I renewed our vows.


Andrew, I love you. I love you for what you are, but I love you yet more for what you are going to be. I love you not so much for your realities as for your ideals and your dreams. I pray that you dream big dreams and I promise to be here by your side, to see them come true.

I want you, Andrew, as my life’s mate. The love you have given me has reached into my heart and taken my soul captive. I have known no other love like yours outside of God and I joyously recommit myself to you, as I did 11 years ago.

I will share with you all the good and all the bad of life, all the laughter and the tears. I will rejoice in your strengths and help you develop them and I will encourage you and love you in spite of any weaknesses you may have. Not always shall you be what you are now. You are going forward toward something great. I am on the way with you and I love you. I will love you the rest of my life, because it is my choice to do so. This is the covenant I make with you."

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New Things Check In

It's been just over 2 weeks since I last checked in on how my Theme of New is going for the year.

There have been a couple of NEW things since then,
The first is another creative pursuit and actually has a number of NEWS within it.
I made myself a handbag.  A fully lined handbag, I've never done that before, so in itself that was new.
I made the front panel using some techniques I have picked up from Art journaling, spraying inks and then rubber stamping.  I've never done either of those things on fabric before.

And I made a fully lined, zipped pocket inserted into the lining of the bag, again something I had not done before.

The 2nd NEW thing is kind of related to that, in that it came through sharing those photos on facebook.  This is still ONLY a possibility, no concrete plans BUT our church has a connection with missionaries to one of the gypsy communities in Romania.  She commented on the photos on facebook saying she wished I would go out there and teach some of these projects to the gypsy girls because they are looking for projects for the girls to be able to make so that they can sell them.

I've talked to just a couple of people at church about it and am certainly thinking it might be possible. 

The first problem is that my passport expired in November, so I have begun the process of applying for a new one and am waiting for those forms to come in the post.  I don't think my photo will have changed that much since my last one, my hair is a lot longer, but that is all, so it should just be a case of getting a new photo, signing the form and posting it back off with birth certificates etc.  Maybe I'll pay the extra to get it checked at the post office before I send it.  So that's £77.50 I think, plus another £8.17 if I do the post office thing, GULP!

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New Things Check In

So a week or so ago I wrote about my theme for 2011, New!  I figured it would be good to check in every now and again with an update on whether I have managed to do anything new during that time.

Yes, a few things NEW.
Firstly in my art journal I used something that was going to go in the trash, I used the foil off an after dinner mint, as part of a page.  See all those bits of gold on the right hand page? 

Then I did an assembly at a school that is new to my regular assemblies. I have done an assembly there before for Operation Christmas Child, in my role as volunteer presenter with them, but never one of my regular assemblies that are what I do for my job with my church. This school is in walking distance from my house, and the assembly went well. Some of the assemblies I do are not at all interactive but this one is and so far it seems to be going well. I had to make a prop for the assembly and managed to do that with things I already had, rather than having to go and buy anything.

I have read through the bible in a year before but on my own, never as part of a group and this year I am doing it as part of a group on facebook.  We're each reading whatever version we want to and using the "in a year" plan that suits us best but coming together on facebook and discussing, it's amazing.  In fact one of the things I want to do today is maybe ready a bit further than my readings for today so I can get a bit ahead so that if I have to miss a day then it won't put me behind my plan.

Also Hubby and I sat down with the calendar a couple of nights ago and pre planned date nights for 5 months!  We have never done that before, always planning week by week.  The trouble with planning week by week is that it can often get missed as life gets away from us.  We know eating out is expensive and there are always reasons to eat out on nights other than date night such as family events and so on, so we don't want to spend too much on date night.  I have done themed date night meals in the past, both Indian and Chinese, I have a little bit of dishware that goes well with each of those themes and occasionally will make a few paper decorations to go with the theme as well as making a spotify playlist of music from that nation. I think I will be having to do some research on both music and recipes as these are the themes we have over the next 5 months:
Australian
Chinese
American (for groundhog day)
Maylasian
French
Welsh
Pancakes (for Shrove Tuesday)
Irish
South African (must ask our South African friends at church for ideas)
Fun food (for April fools day)
Mexican
Japanese
Jewish (the week fo Passover)
Royal Wedding
Greek
Italian
Vietnamese

Finally something NOT QUITE new in that I had done it before but a long time ago.  I have started keeping my thankfulness journal again.  A separate journal that i keep on my nightstand and write in before bed most nights.  I try and write at least 5 things that I am thankful for in that day.  It is a really good way to end the day and is proving useful in reminding me of all the blessings I DO have in my life.
The last entry in it before I restarted it was 2007 and that was only 1 entry, so a failed restart, because the entry before that was 2001!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  10 years ago that I last did this consistently, so I think it kind of counts as NEW.

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Does Someone Need to Read This as we Start a new Year?

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From "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge
I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of failing to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough AS A WOMAN. Every woman I've ever met feels it - something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying gut feeling of failing at who she IS.
I AM NOT ENOUGH, and I AM TOO MUCH at the same time, Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is SHAME, the universal companion of most women.
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Back to me:
The two greatest fears of a woman's heart, "I am not enough" and "I am too much".

How closely does this relate to our struggles with weight.
Society, doctors, and the enemy of our hearts tells us that we are
Too fat
too big
too greedy
too lazy
TOO MUCH!

Not thin enough
not pretty enough
not disciplined enough
not beautiful enough
don't exercise enough
don't move enough
don't care enough
NOT ENOUGH!

And the truth?
The truth is we are LOVED, we are ENOUGH, and we are NOT too much.
We are loved by a heavenly father who cannot love us even the tiniest bit more than He does right now, nor can he love us the tiniest bit less than He does right now. It is not possible because He IS love.
In Him we ARE enough, we are enough for Him, and that big long list of things that society, family, friends, governments, churches, tell us we SHOULD be doing, are very often not on His list of what he longs for us to be doing, those things that keep us busy, too busy to focus on ourselves in a right way, too busy to focus on Him. And His heart breaks to see what we have done to ourselves.

He is not angry with us because of what we have done to our bodies with weight, he is heartbroken by it. And there is no guilt that he puts on us with that. He understands totally the situations, events, emotions that brought us to this place and he longs for us to turn from those behaviours and start to live in a way that loves our bodies again.

He is not standing, with a big stick waiting to punish us for being overweight or obese.
He is standing, waiting for us to run to Him, pour out all our troubles and emotions at his feet, where he can pick us up, set us on the right track and encourage us and love us.

IN HIM we are ENOUGH and we are NOT too much.

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A People MADE for Relationship

This piece was written in April 2009 in response to something written by my friend Dana.  In that post she talks about the fact that we as Christians are all called to live in community, not just so we can impact the world, but for own betterment.
Things have changed for us since then and not only are we now in a small group again but we are leading it.  I think all of this still stands:


I quote:
" As much as God works in us to transform us from the inside out, He gave us something more to refine us. He gave us each other. The community of Christ is meant to be a tool not only as the hands and feet of Christ to the world, but for the betterment of each other through shared lives, shared work, shared struggles and shared encouragement."

She obviously had no idea how timely this post would be for me.
I have really been struggling with the whole relationships issue over recent months.
Because of various things that happened, hubby and I found ourselves still in the same church but not in a small group. We do go to a soaking group most weeks, but lets be honest, that involves maybe 15 - 20 minutes of relationship building and then the rest of the night is spent sleeping, (well not necessarily sleeping, but it's interaction direct with Father rather than with each other). I LOVE soaking, I adore it, but I need something more. I need relationship.
I am not blaming anyone at our church for the situation in which we find ourselves, it is not down to people, it is down to circumstances that have arisen.

Over the last couple of months I have begun to understand and to formulate in my head why this is so important to me, and why I am feeling so lost without it.
I had already come to the realisation that a big part of it was about encouragement. I know one of the things I am called to do is to encourage people, I LOVE doing it, but unless you know people, unless you're aware of what's going on in their lives, that becomes a difficult thing to do well. I also was aware that I NEED encouragement. When I am facing struggles, when I am facing challenges, doubts, issues of sin even, I need encouragement, I need someone who sees what is happening in my life and says "Come on, you CAN DO IT!"

Then, on Sunday morning, before I read Dana's post, I came to a further realisation about my need for relationship.
On Sunday, we had baptisms. 5 people making that public declaration of their relationship with Jesus! AWESOME morning, absolutely amazing, and it made me cry! One of the things that happens at our church when a person gets baptised is that after they have been dunked in the water people pray for them publicly, or bring bible verses they believe god wants to speak to that person through, or pictures, visions, or other "words" from Father God. It's an incredible time as you listen to what God has in store for these people.
I sat there and I cried, because I realised that another big thing about small groups, whether that be an organised group within your church, or whether it be just a group of people that you gather together yourself, is that you are able to speak into each others lives.

Before we left the group we were in before, the group that we were leading and needed to take a break from, that was one of the things we used to do a lot of, praying for each other and speaking into each others lives, what we believed Father God was saying and showing to us.

Dana explains it this way:
" This does not mean that need to let all 1,600 members of my home church in on all my business all the time. It does mean that I have gathered around myself a few groups of people who know me and in spite of that, love me; whose counsel and advice I trust and cherish and most importantly; who love the Lord and want for all of us to be more like Him. It is these people that I can trust to honestly evaluate my words and my behaviours as Christ's ambassador. It is these people that I can trust to hold me up with Truth and not stroke my ears with pretty words. It is these people who sharpen me as I strive to live in community with people who are sometimes very unlike me."

So yes, those aren't just nice, sweet, "God wants to bless you with THIS . . . " type words. It was also a time where we were able to be honest with each other, where we were able to get a spiritual kick in the pants from people we trusted as we were honest with them and they were honest with us.

BUT that was the realisation of Sunday morning, that I am also missing out on the opportunity to have others whom I know and trust spiritually, speak into my life, and to do the same in return.

And all along I have known that WE ARE A PEOPLE WHO ARE MADE FOR RELATIONSHIPS, and women, even more so than men, we are made with this capacity to love and to share, and when that is not used, is not filled, we have a hole, something is missing.

And yes, I DO have relationships online, that other people in the church might not have, but over the last few months, those have changed, those have drifted, and are not the same as they once were. So here I am. Totally acknowledging and agreeing with what Dana wrote. STILL desperate to be in close relationship with a small group of people. Willing to work on creating that for ourselves, (I have worked on getting the "visitor" areas of our home suitable for visitors over the past few weeks and discussed with hubby last night who we might invite for dinner over the coming weeks), but not really knowing where to start.

I'll finish with a final quote from Dana's post:
"We spend a great deal of time focusing on the fluffy, friendly part of our Christian relationships and while we do so, we rob ourselves of one of our most valuable earthly assets. Accountability among believers is not always comfortable, easy or fun, but it is certainly one of the most loving things we can do for each other. Building a person up doesn't merely consist of words that puff up and make us feel good. It includes cutting out the weaker parts so that the entire structure is more sound. It is sometimes painful, heartbreaking, backbreaking work. Who better to entrust it to than those whose hearts are grafted with our own into the heart of the Giver of Life?"

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FINALLY my Theme for 2011

In my last post I wrote about how my theme for 2010 went.

Now it is time to finally share about my theme for 2011.

As in recent years I had not even really begun to think about my them for the year and then someone said something in passing, about someone else and PLONK, it was like a theme dropped into my spirit.   One of my online friends was focusing for a month on doing something NEW every day and I thought "hmmm, interesting, Is that my theme for next year?"
Then someone at church was talking about numbers and how 11 was a number of new beginnings etc.  My research on that didn't bring up new things as a biblical meaning for the number 11, but it did make my ears prick up.
Finally, on New Years Eve, obviously everyone was thinking about the New year and New starts and so on and the following were quoted by friends on facebook:

Revelation 21:3-6 (The Message)

^3-5I heard a voice thunder from the Throne: "Look! Look! God has moved into the neighbourhood, making his home with men and women! They're his people, he's their God. He'll wipe every tear from their eyes. Death is gone for good—tears gone, crying gone, pain gone—all the first order of things gone." The Enthroned continued, "Look! I'm making everything new. Write it all down—each word dependable and accurate."

LOOK!  I'm making everything new!

“The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul" G. K. Chesterton

And finally my own son quoted

See Life from a NEW perspective !!!! That is the start of a NEW reality !!!Happy "NEW" Year !!!!! 2011

OK OK, I know that people are usually thinking about new things at New year, but seriously OK OK I get it, 2011, NEW THINGS.



What am I expecting from 2011 with a theme of New things?

There are already a few New things this year that I already know about.
Firstly I have picked up a new school with the assembly talks I do for my job.  It is another school in walking distance from my home which is good because on New years Eve we scrapped one of our two cars and the 2nd New thing is that I will be back to travelling to my further away assemblies by bus.  However hubby has assured me that before the end of the year we should be able to pick up a New (to us at least) car.  Finally, another thing for my job and I should by the end of the year be leading a team of adults that are doing weekly bible story telling assemblies in a local school.

Those are the things I already know about.  There are other things that I have a gut level feeling I might be doing for the first time this year and I know at least one of my friends who will tell me "I told you so", (yes, you Tam).  I'm totally clueless on how that one will happen or when or where, and I'm scared by it and not ready to share what it is yet.

Back to the person from church who talked about the number 11 and one thing he said that if you are looking to see new Things starting you often have to be ready to let go of some old things, or see them end, in order for the new thing to begin.  I will hopefully be able to keep that in mind, but am aware that some of those things that end might not be things I want to end, but be things that God needs to have end in order to do the new things He wants to do in me.

So, in short,
2011 - New Things

New starts, New Perspectives, New ways of thinking, New things to do, New ways to BE, NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW

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How my Theme for 2010 Went

A few posts ago I wrote about what I thought my theme for 2010 would mean.  I had intended to get to the post about how that turned out yesterday, but something came up, so here we go . . .

There's just one sentence that comes to mind when I consider 2010 and my theme word.
NOT ACCORDING TO PLAN

Looking over what some of my friends have said about 2010 and their themes, I am not the only one.
I lost focus and got off track and did not Simplify as much as I had hoped to!  Although at different times throughout the year I did simplify in different ways and had begun to pull things back into focus towards the end of the year, which led to me giving in and rejoining FlyLady after all these years.  Over the holiday period that has fallen by the wayside and now I have been struck down with a cold but when I get over this I do intend to get back on track with that.

The decluttering?  Well, I didn't get as much done as I had hoped, but there is certainly LESS STUFF around here than there was at the start of the year, and in fact there is a big box of stuff waiting to go to the charity shop, mainly Christmas decorations we no longer need.  I was going to get them to a charity shop in the run up to Christmas, but all that snow prevented it.

And some things which may not be looked at on the surface as simplifying were actually a way for me to bring things down to basics and focus on what really mattered, such as the art journaling.  That too had fallen by the wayside towards the end of the year as I withdrew from pretty much everything and hid from myself and everyone, because I was feeling overwhelmed just by life.

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Wrote this in 2006


I have just sat through an episode of Deep Space nine, one of the ones with Warf in it, which was kind of weird, because we're used to seeing him on the other series, but anyway!

Series 5 episode 7.

A group of them go on holiday to a planet called Risa.

I just sat through someone (who actually turned out to be a kind of bad guy, meant well, but went wrong, but anyway) sit and tell them that because the whole point of this planet was pleasure and enjoying yourself and having a good time that he saw them all as children who couldn't defend themselves! And if he saw them like that then how did their enemies see them?
Risa is one of those planets the federation has set up with all sorts of things to control it's natural environment. They control the weather, to make it always lovely and wonderful, they control the seismic activity to make sure there are never any earthquakes (and BTW therefore never any tsunami waves), and so on. He turns off the weather control and all of a sudden the people start to leave, they're not enjoying themselves any more, they complain about everything.
And I sat there and watched this, kind of open mouthed really, like "OK, now I understand what T's been on about".
WOW!

There was also some stuff in this episode about Warf and his romantic relationship with one of the female characters.
And how she confronts him on the fact that he is so restrained, so locked in, never really knowing how to enjoy stuff, never really being truly himself, who he was made to be.
And he talks about how in the heat of the moment of a football match when he was a kid he killed a boy, not meaning to and realized that . . . .
here it comes . . . . .
"I realized how much more fragile humans are and that if I was going to live among them I would have to hold back for the rest of my life!"
Then there was some stuff about the relationship with her, and he didn't want her as someone he loved to get hurt, because of him being himself.
But in the end he got so angry at what this bad guy was doing that he did let rip, did let the real Warf out.

Doesn't that have something to say to our men, to where a lot of them have found themselves in the past, and for sure some of them still are, but also what you said about the young men in youth as well. That maybe some of the holding back has been out of fear for what would happen to those around them, those they love.

But also something more general than that, something about the angels we've seen as well, something about them holding back, because we would get hurt.
Not sure I understand all of it, but it was incredibly powerful.

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