Wrote this in 2006


I have just sat through an episode of Deep Space nine, one of the ones with Warf in it, which was kind of weird, because we're used to seeing him on the other series, but anyway!

Series 5 episode 7.

A group of them go on holiday to a planet called Risa.

I just sat through someone (who actually turned out to be a kind of bad guy, meant well, but went wrong, but anyway) sit and tell them that because the whole point of this planet was pleasure and enjoying yourself and having a good time that he saw them all as children who couldn't defend themselves! And if he saw them like that then how did their enemies see them?
Risa is one of those planets the federation has set up with all sorts of things to control it's natural environment. They control the weather, to make it always lovely and wonderful, they control the seismic activity to make sure there are never any earthquakes (and BTW therefore never any tsunami waves), and so on. He turns off the weather control and all of a sudden the people start to leave, they're not enjoying themselves any more, they complain about everything.
And I sat there and watched this, kind of open mouthed really, like "OK, now I understand what T's been on about".
WOW!

There was also some stuff in this episode about Warf and his romantic relationship with one of the female characters.
And how she confronts him on the fact that he is so restrained, so locked in, never really knowing how to enjoy stuff, never really being truly himself, who he was made to be.
And he talks about how in the heat of the moment of a football match when he was a kid he killed a boy, not meaning to and realized that . . . .
here it comes . . . . .
"I realized how much more fragile humans are and that if I was going to live among them I would have to hold back for the rest of my life!"
Then there was some stuff about the relationship with her, and he didn't want her as someone he loved to get hurt, because of him being himself.
But in the end he got so angry at what this bad guy was doing that he did let rip, did let the real Warf out.

Doesn't that have something to say to our men, to where a lot of them have found themselves in the past, and for sure some of them still are, but also what you said about the young men in youth as well. That maybe some of the holding back has been out of fear for what would happen to those around them, those they love.

But also something more general than that, something about the angels we've seen as well, something about them holding back, because we would get hurt.
Not sure I understand all of it, but it was incredibly powerful.

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What I THOUGHT Simplicity Would Mean in 2010

1. So, in the last post I shared some things about yearly themes. About what they are, how I receive mine, how some previous years had gone with their theme and so on. Go read it if you have any questions. Here is the list I wrote back in November 2009 about the theme I felt I had for 2010.
   
   
2. In that previous post I shared that despite declaring I was not yet ready to even think about a theme for 2010, I did indeed know what it was. SIMPLIFY, or to put it another way SIMPLIFICATION.
   
   
3. So what does that mean? Well, to an extent it means a variety of things because I believe it is going to affect many areas of my life. But in essence it means working smarter instead of harder, focussing on the things that matter and decluttering.
   
   
4. I believe I need to SIMPLIFY in terms of health, I need to focus on what matters, losing some weight so I can eventually get off the CPAP and live a normal life without it. This in turn will affect many of my other health issues. Along with that will go exercise. SIMPLIFY that by just getting on with it and doing it rather than making excuses. If it's too cold and wet to walk outside, get on the blasted treadmill and DO IT! It's not complicated, it's not difficult, it's SIMPLE!
   
   There is no easy way out, no quick fix, the only long term way that is going to do this is to eat less and move more, deny yourself some of the time, but not all of the time, and if you believe emotional crap from your past is affecting your ability to do that, do the hard emotional work of working through it, with help if you need it.
   
   
5. I believe I need to SIMPLIFY in terms of my work. STOP stressing over which schools to send the letters to and which not and just send them to all the schools in our target area. I also believe I need to bring it back before God far more. Pray daily, weekly, monthly and yearly, each in slightly different ways, but with a focus on this work, on the children that need to hear the good news, on the teaching staff that need a break from having to lead assemblies, on the heart and soul of our future - children.
   
   
6. I believe I need to SIMPLIFY in terms of chores around the house. I am still working my way out of the situation it got into when I had so little energy due to the sleep apnoea. I still don't have the energy levels I would like but they ARE so much better than they had been. Some of the problems are also because with the reduced energy levels I got out of the habit of doing stuff. I need a simple, easy to use and follow schedule that takes into account that my work hours are at different times on different days every week of the year.
   
   
7. Along with SIMPLIFYING the chores, I think I seriously need to de-clutter, SIMPLIFY what we have. I am not as extreme as some people, but we do have too much stuff, stuff we don't use, don't need and sometimes don't even want. for instance, this morning we have thrown out at least a dozen pairs of old shoes that we were all hanging onto "just in case" or because we hadn't got around to throwing them out yet.
   
   I wouldn't go as far as to say "If you haven't used it or needed it in a year, you need to throw it out", but I do believe we can seriously streamline our belongings. As mentioned above we have begun this process, on a gentle scale, but gradually things are being taken to the charity shop, or if they are not good enough for that, to the local tip.
   
   
8. There is something in my gut that says we may NEED that de-cluttering. Maybe that is jsut so that if and when we take advantage of our better financial position to refinance with a better deal, the valuer who comes to the house sees a much tidier, in better condition house. Or, maybe there is a move in our future. I don't know, MAYBE there is, maybe there isn't, to be honest it's not something I see, strongly, just that there's enough of a stirring in my stomach that we NEED to do this de-cluttering to make me wonder.
   
   
9. I need to SIMPLIFY my spiritual life. I try to make things so complicated, looking for this book, or that method. And the truth is, I need to read my bible, pray and journal each day. Anything else comes on top of that, anything else while useful is not vital. The only VITAL thing is KNOWING that God loves me beyond measure and moving towards deeper relationship and walk with Him.
   
   
10. I need to maintain a SIMPLICITY to my trip to America. there are many many people who want me to make time to see them. I cannot do everything, see everyone or go everywhere. I ONLY have 2 weeks. I have chosen a focus, and will have to practise using the words "I'm sorry, I just can't." I need to keep hold of the reason for this trip. This trip is about friendship first and foremost, about meeting up with a group of crazy women whom I love as if I had known them all my life. But I am coming to understand that it is also about my relationship with God. About getting me out of comfort zone, out of routine and in a position to listen in different ways to what he is speaking to me.
    
    Dana, BTW, I am looking forward to making great use of those chairs out back of your house! heeheee. Journal, chair, beautiful view, good friends, oh YES! hmm, might need a pen to go with that journal!
    
    
11. Church fellowship? Well since it turned out that my theme for last year, AND the scripture God gave me to back it up, was used by the couple who came to speak at our church camp in October, who knows what this could mean for our church this year. We are still in a situation where we could be moving from the building, so it could be to do with that, but it doesn't have to be. How do we as a fellowship need to SIMPLIFY? This is something I need to think about, write about and share with the leaders in the next week or so. I need to LISTEN and share.
    
    
12. I can SIMPLIFY my online life and time. Each day I need to check emails, facebook, 2 particular message boards and my googlemail. I would also like to add writing a blog post each day but again that is not essential. What I need to cut out is the amount of time I spend sat at this computer desk just looking for something to fill my time. SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY!
    
    
13. And so, we're at number 13. I am not sure if I mentioned in the previous post abotu themes. But one of the things we like to do is find a scripture to focus on during the year to go with our themes. Usually my scripture comes a week or two behind my theme.
    

Stay tuned for a post on how the theme and my year actually went.  It wasn't quite according to plan!

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What is a YEARLY THEME all about?

1. I first came across the idea of themes for the year a few years ago through reading the blogs of friends. Basically the idea is to seek God for an underlying theme for the coming year and then watch how He works that out in your life. Also considering your actions and lifestyle in light of that theme.
   
   
2. I started doing this myself a few years ago and have noticed more and more people commenting on their themes for the year.
   
   
3. Some years this has been a process of taking time out, sitting with God, looking at the previous years theme, how that went, praying, reading, listening, and other times it has just been one word or phrase that dropped into my spirit and I KNEW that that was the theme for that year.
   
   
4. Some years the theme seems like a really nice one and you approach the year thinking "Yeah, I can DO this, this will be fun." and other years you approach your theme with a little trepidation.
   
   
5. For instance, I have friends whose recent themes include Patience, and everyone knows if God wants to grow patience in you, He's going to put you in some situations that will require you to grow patience and those might not be fun. I have another friend whose theme for the coming year is Enjoy and I'm really excited to watch and see what God does with her this year.
   
   
6. Other years you look at your theme and you think it's going to be one thing and looking back on the year at the end you see it totally fitted with your theme BUT absolutely NOT in the way you had expected that to work out.
   
   
7. As an example a few years ago my theme for the year was "Seeking God for myself, not relying on others to speak into me." I thought "yeah, I can do this, lots of time praying, reading my bible, listening for god to speak, yeah, I can do this." What I did not expect was for it to be the most isolating year of my life socially, where a lot of relationships were stretched, broken, and there were fewer and fewer people close enough to be able to speak into my life. I had no choice but to seek out God for myself.
   
   
8. Then there was 2008. REST! Great, fantastic, slow down, take it easier, REST. HA! God really has a sense of humour.
   
   
9. I started 2008 knowing that I was having some medical symptoms that I suspected were sleep apnoea related. I had tried to seek medical advice previously but had been rebuffed by our family doctor who would not refer me to a specialist. As my symptoms began to worsen, and I realised I had less and less energy, needing frequent 3 or 4 hour daytime naps just to get through the day, falling asleep sat up at the computer desk, and even, at times mid conversation with my family, I knew I would have to face the doctor again. And I was prepared for it to be a battle, I was prepared that I would need to FIGHT to be heard.
   Alongside that, hubby and I had been struggling in our role as small group leaders at church. We had taken on what turned out to be an incredibly difficult group, for various reasons. We HAD previously tried to get help in our role, but had not been heard, we had even tried to quit before, but had been persuaded to stay. I was prepared for this, too to be a battle, I was prepared to have to FIGHT for what I knew God was doing in me!
   
   So, here were two situations in which I was totally expecting a battle.
   When I finally got up the courage to approach the doctors again, in the end I got my referral to the sleep clinic! PRAISE GOD. I went to my first appointment and for the first time in relation to these symptoms I felt like I was really HEARD. It truly felt like God had gone before me and prepared the way.
   
   Small group leading? It was awesome. We hold no blame over the couple who led the ministry at that time at all, and they were absolutely fantastic, totally coming to terms with where we were at, apologising for not having realised before and giving us the space to step back with no repercussions.
   
   So, two situations in which I expected battle and found nothing but the way already prepared before me.
   A year in which physically I was forced to take more and more rest as my symptoms grew.
   A year in which I tried to make much more of a focus on getting to "soaking" meetings, where we just sit on a comfy sofa, or lie on the floor and rest while appropriate worship music is played over us. Sometimes someone prays and sometimes they don't, but we just SOAK in God's presence.
   Then, at church family camp 2008 I had the most amazing experience.
   I wasn't sure about how attending camp would affect my sleep, and not being able to nap during the day, etc, but I went anyway, figuring if had to hide out in our unit I would. There was this one meeting, and worship was awesome, and I was singing and dancing, and then the tiredness, slowly began to come over me. And I got to a point, where I could not dance any more, but I still stood and sang, and raised my hands. And as the tiredness grew, my hands came down to hold on to the seat in front, and then I had to sit down and eventually even stop singing. I could not even muster to the energy to do that. I COULD NOT fight the sleep, I could not DO anything for God in that moment, I did not even have the energy to think through the words of the song in my head, it was all I could do to just BE. And in that moment I felt the nearness of God like I have NEVER felt it before, I felt His love and His closeness, and His passion, and it overwhelmed me. I mean, seriously overwhelmed me. I could DO NOTHING, and in that moment He came to me. I could DO NOTHING and in that moment He poured out His love on me. I could DO NOTHING and in that moment he came to dwell with me. I could do NOT ONE THING to make myself acceptable to God, I could not earn it in any way shape or form, I could not even keep my eyes open in the worship service, and in that place, He expressed His passionate love and care for me.
   
   
10. 2009 began with a theme of Breakthrough but in fact, at first glance, it started with some situations that did not look like breakthrough at all.
    I would not be allowed to drive my car for a few months at least. Due to my diagnosis of Sleep Apnoea, my driving licence had been medically revoked. My precious little gift of a car was put off road for a while!
    I was to receive a local bus pass because of that but that would take 5 or 6 weeks to come through, so in the meantime, and for any journeys after it came through that were not possible by bus, I was reliant on others!
    
    So, NO, this didn't look like breakthrough, and it didn't feel like breakthrough, but I KNEW that I knew that I knew, that God, the Father had His hands completely on this whole process and that He would use this, even this to bring about the breakthrough He intended!
    
    And at the same time, I was heading towards some fantastic moments of breakthrough that I already knew about!
    Hubby and I celebrated 15 years of marriage in February. Something a lot of people never thought we'd do!
    I got my CPAP machine (Sleep apnoea treatment) at the end of January 2009 and despite an early struggle to get used to it and moments of absolute despair at the possibility of things never improving I am now able to go about my day without falling asleep and without needing daytime naps and live life more or less normally. Of course there are still bad days, bad nights, and I still don't have the energy to do EVERYTHING, but this is SO much better than things were before I got treated.
    The restoration of day time energy levels meant I could focus once again on losing some weight and increasing my heart health through exercise! And that year I lost almost 30 pounds.
    I have also seen breakthrough in other areas of my life, I got my driving licence back at the end of the summer 2009, and God met me particularly in the struggle and desire for deeper female friendship, with that being met in more than 1 way. God had also spoken to my local church about breakthrough, that October, using the very verses from Joshua that I had used to back up my theme for that year.
    
    2009 was NOT over yet when I wrote this list of points. I did not Believe the year of Breakthrough was over yet! I believed there was much to come, both in the remaining 5 weeks of the actual year, and truly, I believed beyond that! When I sought God for a theme for 2010 it was not denying the breakthrough that would continue, it was merely adding to it!
    
    
11. So, 2010? This list was originally written in November 2009 and friends had been speaking of their themes for this coming year already, and I was refusing to even acknowledge it, refusing to accept that this was possible. I was still in the middle of my busiest 2 months of the year and quite simply, it was not even on my radar and I was fine with that.
    
    
12. THEN, one morning in November 2009, I was lying in bed and a thought dropped into my head, ONE WORD! And I thought after it, "Oh that might be my theme for the year" Then I reminded myself that I was refusing to think about that yet and that anyway was I really sure I wanted a theme like that? Remembering what I said up in points 6 and 7.
    I mentioned to some friends that I thought I MIGHT have my theme and was GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP in response to it.
    The truth is this theme fits in with other things that God has been speaking to me over recent weeks, and was confirmed by a blog post from someone whose writing I trust, the morning I wrote this list.
    
    
13. One word - or at least one word, that can be put in a number of different ways.
    SIMPLE
    simplify
    simplification
    SIMPLE!
    Not working harder and harder, but working smarter. Not doing things just because "well someone's got to do it" but focusing on those things that I believe God wants ME to do. Not doign things because "Doing A is the only way B is going to happen" but trusting God that what He has promised to do, He WILL do. Simplifying STUFF as well, de-cluttering, getting rid of junk, emotionally, spiritually and physically. NOPE, I don't think this is going to be an EASY theme to live through, but I think it's going to be an adventure, and I am up for that!

Stay tuned for a further post on how that went, hmmmmmmmmmm . . . . . . 

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Dirty Wedding Dress

This is another piece that came initially as a picture. We were in worship one Sunday, and I could vividly see the beginning of the following scene play out before me in my head. As I began to write down what I saw, the rest of this came flowing out.

What I did NOT know at that point was that a friend of mine was going to stand up at the front during the announcements section of the meeting and her and husband were to publically recommit. She had not told me she was going to do that, hadn't hinted at it or anything of the sort. I had NO IDEA! And so, when she did, we knew this was a God thing.

I can see a woman standing over a huge washtub, desperately rubbing this fabric up and down a washboard.
“I MUST get it clean”, she’s crying, “I have to.”
She’s desperate, helpless, the stains won’t come out, there’s nothing she can do.
“I can’t wear it like THIS!” she says as she falls in a heap on the floor.

What’s in the washtub? Her wedding dress. Soiled, damaged, ripped and dirty.

How could she ever hope to get it clean, to get it ready, to make it “good enough”. It had been many years, and many stains, she had no hope of ever making it right.

In hopelessness she cried out to the only one who could make it clean.

“Lord,
Take this dress,
Take this mess
That was our marriage.
Lord, You’ve done so much already.
Dare I ask this one thing more?
Make me clean.
Take away this stain.”

Gently, lovingly, He took her hand.

“I’ve been waiting.
Waiting for this moment of desperation.
Waiting for you to know that I am the only one who can remove this stain, take away this hurt.”

He took her hand and lifted her to stand.

“Come look again.”

He lifted out the gown.
Still, there were the stains, but now they were changing. They joined, they merged as He touched them. As He ran his hand over this filthy rotten gown, it became a pattern on the fabric.
A beautiful pattern that even the greatest designer could not have come up with.

“I cannot take away what has already happened,
But I can treat the stain, heal the hurt, take the pain.”

“Take it!" He said, holding the dress out to her "Go, try it on."

She grasped the dress out of His hands, she ran to the next room and put on that dress.

When she returned, she was truly beautiful. She twirled about the room, radiant, beautiful, clothed in God’s love, His forgiveness, His healing.

"Now Go!
Now you are ready.
Ready to change hearts and lives.
Change whole cities, whole nations,
Because now you walk in a gown that is clean,
Truly clothed in my righteousness.
You have a job to do out there my dear child."

"But, I’ll get it dirty again!"

"Yes, I know, but now you know, now you are learning, how to get it clean again."

photo by Kristina Daley (with creative commons permission)

Before you go, why not check out my recipes index page, or my craft projects index page, I am sure you will find something there to interest you.

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Paint Colours Book

Every time I go to a craft store I look at the tubes and bottles of acrylic paint.  Especially now I have found a store tht stocks the smaller bottles of craft paint for just 99p, I'd like to get some more colours.  The problem is that stood there, in front of this wonderful rack of delights I can NEVER remember what colours I already have.  I have been meaning to make this little book since I bought my Bind it All, and finally got around to doing it last night.

First of all I designed a page with squares for the paint and lines for the brand and colour name of the paint.  I printed that out at 4 to a sheet of A4, on sketchbook paper and cut each sheet into 4.

I cut a piece of thin card for a front cover and a piece of chipboard for the back cover.

I bound it all on my Bind it All and this is the result.

The only possible problem I can forsee is that I might run out of pages, but I can always open it up and put some more in.

And that may be the end of my online presence today as I see a trip to a craft shop in my very near future!

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Re Organising my Craft Desk

I had been looking at my craft desk and the fact that I wanted to buy some more paints but had absolutely no more space to store them.

I had thought about getting some shelves to mount on the wall that were quite shallow front to back and just wide enough to fit the space I had, but couldn't find anything.

Ignore the cd rack on the right, I should have moved that before I took the photo.  I wanted something to fit where the clipboard and treasure map were, and maybe go a bit further up the wall.  As I said, I had no luck finding anything.
Then I remembered that IKEA cd rack that I had in my bedroom.  You can see that I have fitted pieces of thick card to act as shelves and my plan was to just fit two of those next to each other and one the other way around beneath them.  That plan was scuppered by the fact that my local IKEA only stocks the dvd version of that rack not the cd one.

My wonderful hubby then suggested that I look on the Argos website to see if they came up with anything and the solution was found.

And he was awesome and fitted it up for me.

Sorry, I can't resist showing you how awesome he is when he does little things like this for me. Please ignore the spelling mistake on the photo, since I didn't save the original I can't seem to change it.  Oh well.  Consider this a lesson in proof reading!

And now some photos of what it is like now:

I have a number of pens that need to be stored horizontally, certain glitter ones and some double ended Kuretake pens. This space under the shelves was an ideal spot to store them. And look there is still space for a few more Kuretake pens.

Bottom shelf, basket of glues, tapes, and sticky foam pads.  Some larger sheets of foam pads on the left between the shelf and the main desk.  Also there is my quilting ruler.
And my favourite item I ever bought is just to the left of that blue basket.
A stamp cleaning pad.  It's a microfibre fabric on a stiff backing and it is awesome.  Does such a fantastic job of cleaning stamps by rubbing them across the surface.

Oooooh look there is lots of room now for more tubes of paint!

Unmounted stamps stored in clear cases that fit in a cd rack.  The top ones are See Ds sold by one of the UK craft suppliers, and come in those cases.  The others are ones I have put into clear cd cases my hubby no longer needed.  I still have some more I want to put into clear cd cases but can't seem to find any that are clear on both sides that I can remove in the insert from.

So that was a quick tour around my reorganised craft desk.  I hope you liked it.

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Cindy Cunningham - Hollyoaks - Stephanie Waring

Here's a new year treat showcasing the ever versatile bob hairstyle of Hollyoaks actress Stephanie Waring who plays Cindy Cunningha in the soap.

She also looks so cute with a ponytail!

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Review on the Year - Answers Part 3

What was the best book you read? 

I don't do a lot of reading.  Certainly didn't do much of it at all at home this year, even though there were books that caught my attention and I wanted to read through, somehow it never happened.  However, when I was in America I did a LOT of reading.  Reading, reading, reading, reading, reading.  The two favourites from that time that come to mind were

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

and

Ireland, the novel by Frank Delaney

What was your greatest musical discovery of 2010? 

Sitting at that Casting Crowns Concert and really LISTENING to the lyrics, some of them that I had heard many many times, but hearing those lyrics as if it were the first time, and being SO impacted by them, so incredibly impacted by them.

What did you want and get? 

A trip to America

What did you want and not get? 

To meet more of my American friends, to spend time getting to know more of them, to sit and share and laugh and have fun with them!

What was your favourite film of this year? 

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 

I hate answering this question in December, because with my birthday being in January I can't remember.  I shall have to look it up in my journal.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? 

More time with my American friends.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? 

COMFORTABLE

What kept you sane? 

I'm not sure I stayed sane, not at times anyway.  But when I was using it and not hiding from it, journaling and then later, art journaling were definitely sanity bringers for me.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Really can't think of anyone, truthfully.

What political issue stirred you the most? 

Budget cuts and the way they are going to affect education. 

Who did you miss? 

I miss my mom.  Even though she didn't share my faith and therefore part of the reason I have got into art journaling, I think she would have loved the process.

Who was the best new person you met? 

Does it count if I already knew them online for years and years and years but only just got to meet them face to face?
Dana
Ashley
Becky
Skipper
Sara
Misty
and then those I had not met before this years trip to America:
Windy
Christie
Miss Tish
And many many more in Milledgeville.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010: 

If you're doing the right thing and you KNOW it, don't give up, hang in there, pray and WAIT and see what god will do, but do NOT whatever you do, give up!

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Chorus:
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

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Cottage Pie

COTTAGE PIE

This is a Cottage Pie Recipe from the Student Cookbook I bought for my 16 year old son, to learn some recipes from before he leaves for University in 2 years time

2 onions
4 medium sized carrots
4 sticks of celery
50g butter
550g lamb mince (we used beef mince)
500ml stock
4 tbsp tomato ketchup
1/2 tsp mixed herbs
salt and pepper
2kg large potatoes, peeled
150ml milk
400g can baked beans

1. Gather your ingredients

2. Peel then chop the onions, very finely. For this, we used our trusty V Slicer, watch those blades, V sharp!


3. Also chop celery and carrots (we had no carrots so these got left out this time) finely.

4. Heat half the butter and oil in a saucepan, add the chopped vegetables and fry, stirring for 5 minutes until they start to soften.

5. Add the meat and fry for another 5 minutes, breaking up the mince with a spatula or wooden spoon.

6. Make up stock and add to the pan. 500ml uses 3 cubes, so we decided to use a mixture of what we had.

7. Stir the stock into the pan.

8. Add Ketchup

9. Add Herbs

10. Bring that mixture to the boil. That is when bubbles come to the surface of the liquid, over the whole pan at the same time. When this happens, turn the heat down to a simmer. This is when bubbles are only coming to the surface over a small part of the pan at a time, occasionally.
Stir occasionally.

11. Meanwhile prepare your potatoes for mashing. If you are using a traditional masher, you will need to peel. We are using a potato ricer, so there is no need to peel. Just chop the potatoes in half.

12. Cover the potatoes with water and bring to a boil. Boil for 15 - 20 minutes, until tender enough for mashing.

13. We forgot to take photos of the potato ricer in action, oops. Mash the potatoes, add milk and the rest of the butter, mix thoroughly.

14. Heat the oven to 200 C, 400F, Gas Mark 6.

15. Stir the baked beans (straight from the tin) into the meat mixture and pour into a large, shallow, oven proof dish, or individual dishes.

16. Spoon the mashed potato onto the top of the meat mixture, spreading it right to the edges of the dish.

17. Bake for about 40 minutes until the potato is pale and gold on top.


18. Like SO!

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Review on the Year - Answers Part 2

Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing major, just the usual coughs and sneezes, etc.  And despite our mega snow fall I have managed to avoid any slips or falls too.

What was the best thing you bought?

TICKETS TO AMERICA!  Although, strictly speaking they were purchased the year before, so erm, this year's purchase? hmmmm. oooh oooooh, the best thing that I bought this year was

• paint
• paint brushes
• paint
• glue
• paper
• a bind it All
• paint
• and an awesome art journaling class online

Where did most of your money go?

Well, cars and housing and food is the truthful answer, but as far as disposable income is concerned, then art journaling supplies.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

MY TRIP TO AMERICA (are you sensing a bit of a theme with some of these answers? GRIN)  Also some really awesome news I got towards the end of this year with my job.

What song will always remind you of 2010?

I took my son to see Casting Crowns live on their only gig in England on their European tour! WOW, what an incredible night!

Compared to this time last year, are you:

a. happier or sadder?

It's been a tough year and I honestly could not have said this at certain points, but right now I think I am happier.  Certainly no sadder anyway.

b. thinner or fatter?

hmmmmm?  Thinner than this time last year but fatter than what I managed to get down to before the summer.  Still, I can get back on track! And that is part of my intention over the next few days or weeks.  Take it slow but get moving and get eating better.

c. richer or poorer?

Thankfully, truly thankfully we are finishing this year richer.  Hubby's employer has finally realised what an asset he is to the company and have moved his pay up!

What do you wish you'd done more of? 

I wish I'd spent more time being honest with myself. 

What do you wish you'd done less of?

I wish I'd spent less time hiding from myself, hiding from the issues I need to deal with, more time working through things, journaling, art journaling, not hiding from the both whenever things got difficult.

How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas day was spent with eldest son back at home, and the 4 of us just chilling together and eating and having fun.  Youngest was a bit off colour so eldest and hubby went to church without us.  Boxing day was spent in a similar manner and the Monday was a journey over to see relatives and go to my uncle's retirement party.

Did you fall in love in 2010?

Hmmmm, fall in love? continue in love?  Yes, and want to be even more so this year.

What was your favourite TV program?

I really don't watch a lot of tv, spend most of my free time at the computer or craft desk.  But when I do get to sit in front of the tv I do like Dr Who, NCIS and the various CSIs.  Also quite fond of certain cookery shows, particularly Nigella, Jamie Oliver and Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall. 

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A Few Funnies

If you are reading this at facebook you may have to click on "go to original post" just above the comment box, in order to see the videos.

First a video for all the guys out there about how to be the perfect boyfriend.



VideoJug: How To Be The Perfect Boyfriend

Unfortunately ladies the men get their own back with "How to be the Perfect Girlfriend", I love this.

VideoJug: How To Be The Perfect Girlfriend

This one is funny - How to give a man to man hug!

VideoJug: How To Give A Great Man To Man Hug

My Personal favourite - Dancing an Emergency Guide For Men.

VideoJug: Dance Moves: An Emergency Guide For Men

Sign Language, BSL to be exact.
First - Flirting in BSL

VideoJug: How To Flirt Using British Sign Language

If you go searching the rest of that website you will find loads of videos, some funny, some serious, if you search for the BSL ones, be careful if you are easily offended, there are one or two in there that are a little rude!


.

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Video of the Week - Side Shave

Here's a video highlighting the new trend for shaving one side of your head. Sexy or not? Sexy!

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Jackie Kabler

Has anyone else noticed this cute short bob on the ITV newsreader Jackie Kabler? Looks fantastic.

Here's some before and afters.

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Review on the Year - Answers Part 1

What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?

Oh let's see, fly to America, ALL BY MYSELF, get stuck ALL BY MYSELF in snow snow and more snow, first at Newark then in Cleveland and finally a night at a friend's house.  Her hubby drove and picked me up from Washington Dulles airport then took me back there the following morning.  She was such a blessing.
Then I spent a few chaotic hours at Atlanta airport with an incredible group of ladies, followed by one evening with a smaller group and then 2 weeks staying with a friend, just fitting into whatever they were doing as well as making a few visits and an appearance on stage in their church mid week kids program.

Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?

I don't particularly make New Years resolutions as such, but I do seek God for a theme for the year.  Some years I can see how that theme worked throughout the year really clearly, last year I think that I probably avoided co-operating with God on the theme He had given me, so didn't see as much change in those areas as I had hoped.

Did anyone close to you give birth? 

Depends what you mean by "close".  There have been various births this year, online friends, family and best of all, church friends, especially one who had thought she could never get pregnant due to a medical condition, who is now a very proud mommy!

Did anyone close to you die?

Thankfully this year has been one without that.

What countries did you visit? 

AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thankfully none of my diversions due to the snow took me into other countries.

What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010? 

Good quality sleep.   I have sleep apnoea and use a CPAP machine.  The CPAP machine has CHANGED MY LIFE!  But it still does not put me where I want to be in terms of energy levels or quality of sleep. 

What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Feb 25th 2009.  Yes I know that wasn't this year for most of you but for me it was.  Does anyone remember why?  Come on ladies who were involved in my trip, you should know.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I reckon surviving that 4 day journey to Atlanta ALL BY MYSELF was a pretty incredible achievement.  I met a lot of interesting people along the way.

What was your biggest failure? 

Getting stressed, stressed, stressed over things with work when I should have just rested in God knowing that HE had a plan up his sleeve all along and his timing is perfect.

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Review on the Year 2010 - Questions List

Here are the year in review questions, in one place, without my answers, so that you can easily copy them over to your blog if you want to use them.
My answers will come over the next few days.


What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?

Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Did anyone close to you die?

What countries did you visit?

What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

What was your biggest failure?

Did you suffer illness or injury?

What was the best thing you bought?

Where did most of your money go?

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

What song will always remind you of 2010?

Compared to this time last year, are you:
a. happier or sadder?

b. thinner or fatter?

c. richer or poorer?

What do you wish you'd done more of?

What do you wish you'd done less of?

How did you spend Christmas?

Did you fall in love in 2010?

What was your favourite TV program?

What was the best book you read?

What was your greatest musical discovery of 2010?

What did you want and get?

What did you want and not get?

What was your favourite film of this year?

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

What kept you sane?

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

What political issue stirred you the most?

Who did you miss?

Who was the best new person you met?

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

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What is the Place of your Wound?

And here is a piece from 2005:

I am currently involved in a study at church with a small group of women. We are working through some seminar cd's from a conference run by Stasi Eldredge, joint author of
Captivating : Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul
And another lady whose name eludes me right now.
The details of the conference can be found at
Ransomed Heart
The last session was a tough one. Facing our wound. Facing the place in our lives at which the enemy attacks in order to make us question that which makes us most deeply feminine. It may be something that was done to us it may be something we did, it may be something that just happened.
Some of us might know immediately what that is, some of us may have no idea.
We were challenged to go to God with our journals in hand and make a courageous choice, to ask Him "What is the place of my wound?" To ask Him "Where have I known shame?"
I had a pretty good idea of what mine would be and of where this would take me, but I wasn't certain, but the images of places involved in that, that I had long forgotten made it so clear that I was correct. Thinking over this event and the events surrounding it doesn't fill me with the fear it once did.
We were asked to consider where and how we had chosen to hide as result of this wound or others.
First and foremost I hid by forgetting! Truly, I forgot the incident had even taken place until last year when praying through some things with a friend. At the time I was promised that the person involved would be dealt with but I had to promise never to speak of it again, and I didn't, my child's mind made it go away, made it to me as if it had never happened.
But I had to admit in my journaling that I also had hidden over the years behind my weight. I have subconsciously, and, at times, consciously hidden my femininity behind layers of fat. Yes, I HAVE hidden! I have buried my femininity behind 'fat lady's clothes', behind not caring about my appearance, behind "If I look like this, no one will look at me, no one will see me". Behind the idea that fat is not attractive, fat is not feminine. (If you are struggling with your weight or are fat and happy, BTW that is NOT true, it is a LIE I was hiding behind.)
But this, even this, was not the most deeply moving part of my journaling from this session.
A harder question to answer, although still not the hardest was, oh and it is hard to write about it now, hard to think on it. "What desires have I jettisoned along the way?" What dreams have I pushed aside, ignored, refused to even acknowledge because the enemy had me convinced in the shame of that and other events? Not that I was conscious that the shame was why I was jettisoning them, Oh No, I had very good reasons, at the time.
I sat and I struggled, I said I couldn't answer it, said I didn't know, and then suddenly, There it was. The thought just came as if from nowhere, TEACHING! I had pushed out of my life, fought against, the desire, the call, the longing to teach. And just writing it down on the page was a BIG step for me. Typing it now, reading it over, is a moving experience.
But the hardest question of them all was this:
"What is so ALIVE and UNIQUE in me that if the enemy can stop it in me, the kingdom will do without it?"
WOW! Ladies, this is why I am writing this piece, this is why I had to sit at this computer and get this done.
What is so alive and unique in YOU that if the enemy can stop it in you, the kingdom will do without it?
We are not used to thinking of ourselves as special, or as talented. We LEARN mediocrity, we learn that to be special is to stand out and all that comes from standing out. We're even taught that it is bad to think of ourselves more highly than others, while at the same time being taught by these same people to achieve, to do our best, to win in life.
Is it any wonder we are confused when it comes to this question? Is it any wonder that many of us keep that wound shut away and our femininity with it?
Friends, hear me when I say, "I understand." I know those feelings of mediocrity that the enemy tries to keep us convinced in. I know that feeling of needing to put yourself down when someone compliments something about you or something you have done. I Know it so well.
But let me say as gently as I can.
THAT IS NOT THE TRUE YOU!
You are beautiful, you are powerful, you are deeply feminine. YOU are a princess in the kingdom, you are more, far more than you have ever been able to imagine. And yes, you are those things because of God, but that doesn't stop you being them. YOU ARE!
So, what is it about me? I'm not sure I can put that into words quite yet. But I am sure that God put me on this earth, at this time, in this place for a reason, because there is something I can do, that no one else can do, there are people I can reach that no one else can reach in just the same way. That IS the same for you. God believes in you, I believe in you.
Find out what it is, don't let the enemy win, I don't want to miss out on what you have to give.

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You may have noticed that I have been reposting some older pieces of writing.  This is one I wrote back in 2004, sat in the rest area at a local museum, while my boys ran around and had fun.
 
What is a parent to do when their older children want to come to the hands on science museum for the umpteenth time and really don’t need that parent to go around with them? Why, write of course.

They are busy running around like mad things and I get to sit here by the vending machines, all by myself, writing away.

What shall I write?

It’s Tuesday 17th February 2004. That means that in 2 days time I will have been married for 10 years. 10 whole years. There were many many times that I never thought I would see this day. Many times I thought he would drive me so mad I would have to leave, many many times I thought I just could not take any more.

There were even times I thought he might do something silly and hurt me, or even himself for that matter, at times.

There were times when if he was late home I would be wondering where he was, what he was doing, thinking he must be with someone else, rather than just blaming traffic as I would now.

Even as recently as last summer at church camp at church camp I was bawling to M and T saying I didn’t feel anything for him any more and didn’t know how much more I could take.

Then, last week, at the ladies meeting at T’s we were talking about Andrew’s job situation and A mentioned what her husband had said about Andrew’s many skills. I responded that he doesn’t see himself that way, that his self esteem is low and I think he’s even afraid to look for something new. T said something like “but he is an amazing man”. I told her I knew that and that I thought he was absolutely amazing and that I really loved him. Then I laughed and commented that that was such a change from last summer. T just sat there grinning.

You see, even for someone who has suffered with a low self esteem for much of her life, I find it difficult to see how someone who is so wonderful and gives of himself so much, both to family and to the community through scouts, can think of himself SO lowly.

I love that man so much, far more than I could ever have imagined when we were going through all that ‘stuff’.

Last summer with M and T, I repented of all the threats to leave and committed myself to stay out of love. I never imagined, then, that I would feel so strongly for him now. Never imagined this love would be so strong in my heart.

I love him so much that it makes me cry. Not tears of pain, or fear, but tears of love and joy and thankfulness and yes, even tears of regret.

Regrets for all the times I could have loved and supported him and didn’t. Those are the acts, the sins of omission, the things I could have done, should have done, that I didn’t. But there are times I sinned against Andrew by active sins of commission, and those hurt me, now, supremely. I cannot believe some of the things I did, cannot begin to imagine how they would have made him feel and how I, his wife, the one who should build him up more than any person on this earth, probably contributed to his low opinion of himself.

Here is a man whom I love, adore and desire. Here is a man who I am so thankful for, so proud of.

I am thankful to God for bringing us together, so thankful for his amazing ability to love, so thankful for his willingness to change and desire to be a better husband and father. I am so thankful for his strength, his physical strength, clambering up into that loft whenever I need stuff fetching down of putting back up, his emotional strength, the way he comes along side me when I am down and lifts me up and tried to protect me.

I am so thankful for his spiritual strength. That is something that he doesn’t see in himself, but I know that it is there, KNOW that this is an amazing man who can achieve mighty things With God, who can lead this family through everything the world and the enemy would try to throw at us, and he can lead us out the other side, stronger as a family, stronger in our spiritual lives and more ready to achieve what god has for this family.

You know I am even thankful for his past, for the things that happened to him and the things in our past that sought to drive us apart. Why? Those things sometimes still affect us, they are certainly partly responsible for some of the problems we struggle with now, particularly in the communication area. They are things that I hate that they happened, would NEVER wish on anyone else, and yet I can say I am now thankful for them. Why? Because without those things, he wouldn’t be the person he now is, without those things, we would not have the future that we have, and without those things god would not be in line to get a might great victory when the enemy discovers that his plans backfired and Andrew overcame all of that to become the might man of God he already is.

I am so proud of him, proud for how hard he works to provide for us, proud of the changes he has already made in his life, proud of the hard work he puts in with the scouts. He is so amazing. I love him so much and I am so thankful that I decided to marry him, despite the problems.

10 years. There are a lot of people who didn’t think we would make it this far, but we did, and here we are. And although we’re not going to get as long away as we would like to celebrate that, I am so looking forward to this time together on our own. Yes, the renewing of the vows, with all the trimmings would have been nice, and that would have announced to the world, “We made it”, but somehow I don’t need that now, I don’t need to tell them, it’s enough that we know and that we love each other.

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Purple Flower Faerie Hoodie size M/L

Happy Holidays!  Now that the holiday crazies are ending, I'm finally getting around to posting some pictures and thoughts about stuff I've been doing this month.

First: I've gotten lots of requests for larger sizes, and I'm listening!  I sized up my Purple Flower Faerie Hoodie for a custom request from Etsy, and I LOVE how it turned out, so I'm adding the bigger one to my Etsy store for future requests.  So pretty!  I love how this style is just so flattering on just about anyone.  Especially on the Lovely Amy (I adore how it matches her hair!  Yay for Purple Stuff.)

I've been making glovies too and giving them away as fast as I can make them, it seems.  They're such a great Christmas gift and I can often make them out of "leftover" fabric pieces that are too small to keep, so it makes me feel sort of green and environmentally friendly.. plus, all my friends have warm wrists now.  :)

I got lots of sewing stuff for Christmas, but my favorite present was made by my hubby.. he created a hand made My Little Pony unicorn soldering iron for me.  Is this not the coolest thing in the whole WORLD?  I've already used her to fix my light-up wings, and I may be incorporating more EL wire into my costumes soon soon, simply because I need a reason to solder things.  I'm torn between calling her "Princess Solderflux" or  maybe "Hotflash".

As you can see, I'm wearing my Peacock Hoodie in the pic.. and Hotflash seems to have an evil side lurking beneath her deadly cute exterior.. she managed to melt a hole right through the front of the hoodie the very first time I used her.  She may actually be evil incarnate, the jury is still out.  However, I still love her with all my heart.. if she's evil, I've fallen completely under her spell and become her minion, I fear.

More pictures of more stuff when it quits raining!

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