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First posted this some years ago when I was struggling wtih getting back into journaling. I think I am there again. Thankfully my tail bone isn't an issue anymore, although I now have new health issues that can be uncomfortable in other ways. All the emotional stuff still applies, I think.
I have been journaling on and off for quite a few years now. It helps me sort out my thoughts, hear what I am really feeling and even hear God's response. When I read the chapter about journal writing in "Fresh Brewed Life", I just sat there saying "YES!", "YES!", "YES!"
Lately, however, for a good number of months, I have not been journaling. Why? It's not that I don't have time because I do, I sit here at the computer desk for hours a day, a lot of it doing nothing much of anything, and I could use that time or journaling. There is time. Part of it has been space and place. I used to journal curled up in the corner of the sofa, but since I fell and broke my tail bone last March, that just hasn't been possible. I have tried, but I can only get comfortable for about 15 minutes or so and then I have to shift position, and then again and then . . . . well, you get the picture. But again that is only part of it.
So what is stopping me journaling, what is stopping me writing down my thoughts and feelings, what is stopping me seeking God's response on those things, as I write? You know, over the last couple of days I think I have come up with an answer.
I'm scared!
Scared of what I might find out about myself. Scared of what I might find out about other people. Journaling changes things, journaling changes me, changes how I see me, changes how I see others, and therefore changes how I see them. So am I scared to let go off some stuff that I hold close to my heart, scared to believe that "those people" are really not whatever label I have put upon them? Am I just scared that I will have to admit to myself that I'm not all I pretend to be? I think I'm also scared that once I open this up, I won't be able to stop, that I'll be taking the lid off stuff and that I won't be able to get the lid back on it again. There is also the possibility that i will discover that people are negative towards me, rather than at the moment me convincing myself "well, I know I think it's that way but it's me being hormonal, it can't really be like that, can it" Do you understand what I mean? Can I risk that? But what about the possibility that I discover that I am actually MORE than I pretend to be, what about the possibility that I discover that there are things I can easily do to change the way I feel and think for the better?
Those of you who do journal, help me here!
How do I get back into this, what can I do to get started again?
What do you do if something comes up in your journaling, emotionally and you don't have time to finish dealing with it in that session of journaling?
I have been journaling on and off for quite a few years now. It helps me sort out my thoughts, hear what I am really feeling and even hear God's response. When I read the chapter about journal writing in "Fresh Brewed Life", I just sat there saying "YES!", "YES!", "YES!"
Lately, however, for a good number of months, I have not been journaling. Why? It's not that I don't have time because I do, I sit here at the computer desk for hours a day, a lot of it doing nothing much of anything, and I could use that time or journaling. There is time. Part of it has been space and place. I used to journal curled up in the corner of the sofa, but since I fell and broke my tail bone last March, that just hasn't been possible. I have tried, but I can only get comfortable for about 15 minutes or so and then I have to shift position, and then again and then . . . . well, you get the picture. But again that is only part of it.
So what is stopping me journaling, what is stopping me writing down my thoughts and feelings, what is stopping me seeking God's response on those things, as I write? You know, over the last couple of days I think I have come up with an answer.
I'm scared!
Scared of what I might find out about myself. Scared of what I might find out about other people. Journaling changes things, journaling changes me, changes how I see me, changes how I see others, and therefore changes how I see them. So am I scared to let go off some stuff that I hold close to my heart, scared to believe that "those people" are really not whatever label I have put upon them? Am I just scared that I will have to admit to myself that I'm not all I pretend to be? I think I'm also scared that once I open this up, I won't be able to stop, that I'll be taking the lid off stuff and that I won't be able to get the lid back on it again. There is also the possibility that i will discover that people are negative towards me, rather than at the moment me convincing myself "well, I know I think it's that way but it's me being hormonal, it can't really be like that, can it" Do you understand what I mean? Can I risk that? But what about the possibility that I discover that I am actually MORE than I pretend to be, what about the possibility that I discover that there are things I can easily do to change the way I feel and think for the better?
Those of you who do journal, help me here!
How do I get back into this, what can I do to get started again?
What do you do if something comes up in your journaling, emotionally and you don't have time to finish dealing with it in that session of journaling?
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